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Foxy627
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Name: Theresa
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Member Since: 7/4/2004

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

i need to stop getting my hopes up.  

school has started, im kind of excited for school this year.  getting to work with little kids and teaching them new things is the one thing that makes me truly happy.     everything else i do is just _____.  but i have gotten very good at putting on a "happy face" all the time.  life is much easier when everyone thinks you are happy! :)

anyways...  2 very exciting things to be happy about......   1.  working with special ed. kids starting in like a week.  2.  Going home for a fun KC visit with friends!   it will be good times.

i hope everyones school year is starting off great!


Thursday, June 14, 2007

I know i have put this up before...but i was just reading it, and thinking about how true it is.  I am really ready for something good to happen in my life.  And i know i dont need a guy in my life to make me happy, but i need something good in my life, so when i wake up in the morning, i have a reason to be happy...i have a reason to wake up and get out of bed.  but i am just the "nice girl" so im not expecting anything anytime soon. I know no one really understands what goes through my head, to be honest i dont really understand the thoughts in my head.  I dont even know why i am typing this, but i came across this poem/story so i thought i would share, because it is 100% true.

To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.


Saturday, March 17, 2007

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

thank god.


Thursday, March 08, 2007

im sick of everything

spring break needs to be here fast!


Thursday, March 01, 2007

i am sad and confused. i am ready for a really good day. and i miss home a lot, i never thought i would miss kansas, but i do. i miss everything about it right now. 

this is the worst feeling in the world



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